Awareness
by the-singular-peep
Summary: It was sudden, jerking awareness; not the pleasant, warm kind you feel when you open your eyes early on a Sunday and think a comforting, 'Hm, I think I'll doze for a while longer,' with the smell of coffee in the air. It was a cold, hard, mechanical awareness that made Her painfully aware of Her nothingness and painfully unaware of anything else. [DISCONTINUED.]
1. Simply Being

_Simply Being_

* * *

She awoke with a start.  
Sudden, jerking awareness; not the pleasant, warm kind you feel when you open your eyes early on a Sunday and think a comforting, 'Hm, I think I'll doze for a while longer,' with the smell of coffee and flower perfume rising from the kitchen. It was a cold, hard, mechanical Awareness that made Her painfully aware of Her nothingness and painfully _unaware_ of anything else. Her pale eyes searched frantically, trying to find something, _anything_ , to tell Her who She was, where She was, _what_ She was. But they were greeted only with horrifying blackness, the kind of blackness you remember feeling when you were younger and thought a monster was under the bed, when you called out to your mother for help and warmth and comfort.  
She had no mother to call for.

Pearls were more slaves than anything else. They didn't have any ambition or thoughts, the commercials said. _They're only here to serve you_!  
They could do your dirty work, perform for you, act as a comfort object during a storm, they could even act as a lover when you were too lonely. _And they aren't real gems, so you should have no worries about being embarrassed or afraid. They will do whatever you please!  
_ They were sit-up-and-look-pretties, they were dancers, they were musicians, they were house pets or servants. Pearl's could be _anything_ and _everything_ , but they couldn't be _real gems._ They were only _playthings_ programmed to _serve_. Morally, you shouldn't feel bad about anything you make your pearl do. _That's the fun of them!_

She blinked and blinked, trying to make sense of Her a _areness_ and the world around Her's _nothingness_. She could see nothing, could hear nothing, could feel nothing. It was as if She wasn't _living_ , She was only _being_.  
She must have sat there for hours without moving, or thinking, or breathing. She only sat. Within moments, her whole atmosphere changed, but she did not have the knowledge or experience to feel _dread_. Lights were now everywhere - bright, cold lights that would give you a headache if you held your eyes open for too long, the kind you see in doctor's offices and hospitals. A painful feeling of cleanliness covered Her and everything around Her. From what She could tell, She was alone. She was upon a small pod and covered in a sticky wetness that she would come to know as saltwater, her newly processed body flickering in and out of existence as it got used to _being_. She only realized she had been moving when she stopped, a voice breaking the terrible _nothingness_.

"Pearl B8-29027. Please state your title and position."  
She stayed quiet.

"Pearl B8-29027. Please state your title and position." The voice tried again, a growl of impatience coming over the feminine voice. This cycle repeated, and She tried to repeat the words; She really did. They wouldn't come.

"Defective speech and voice recognition. Possible defective pattern memorization. Noted in description; move to next stage regardless. Correctable error."  
She began moving again; how interesting was that, She could now recognize the sensation of _movement.  
_ Soon after, She stopped moving again, but She was too young to understand the anomaly of _time,_ so it didn't matter how soon it had been. Another voice, different from the one before, a voice more gruff and cold began to speak.

"Pearl B8-29027," It began, just as the other had, "Defective speech and pattern memorization..." The voice mumbled. She realized only now that She had not moved her head. That She _could_ move her head. She turned her head stiffly to reveal a tall figure looking onto a glowing white tablet that seemed to be emitted from a black watch clamped tightly on the figure's wrist. "Pearl B8-29027, please stand."

Without realizing what She was doing, She moved Her legs and stood robotically.  
"Good. Pearl B8-29027, override. New loyalty requested."  
A blue light flickered from Her gem, a code forming from the blue light. _Pearl B8-29027. Loyalty to: Unchosen. Override code: 369027.  
_ "369027. Loyalty requested to: Diamond, White; Status code: 4502789B."  
She shuddered as the blue went to static before reappearing, the only thing shown now being _Pearl B8-29027. Loyalty to: White Diamond/Class A._ _  
_ _  
_She did not know how this had happened, the feeling being very close to how you feel attending a calculus class when you have only just let the Algebra 2 information sink in. It was a feeling of confusion, fear, of that _dread_ She had not yet learned to recognize. A flicker of emotion passed over her eyes, and the Gem with the gruff voice noticed this. A look of distaste showed on her face.

Most pearls, in fact, did _feel_. No matter how much it was pushed that they didn't, they did. They communicated with each other sometimes, but only each other, and never expressed true opinion or emotion. They only _had_ , they didn't _show. They know their place and don't question your judgment; they believe what you believe!_  
More so, they pick up the social cues stating your mood and opinion and only act when you ask them to. If asked for conversation, they use those social cues to speak of things you _know_ , of things you agree with. Never anything new, even if they do _feel._

She _felt,_ and She _showed._ It wasn't as if She made a conscious decision to _show,_ She just didn't know she shouldn't. If She had kept her expression blank any longer, she felt as if she would explode, though She didn't know what the word _explode_ really meant.  
The owner of the gruff voice narrowed her eyes and moved closer to Her. The taller gem frightened Her and She gasped, feeling very small and afraid.  
"Pearl B8-29027. Do not move any part of your form; do not make any noises; do not question me. Please show me your information page, starting from your creator and shipment requirements for checking and approval."

A new sensation, a feeling of _terror_ moved through her body quickly as the new gem looked upon her, but she was brave. She was going to do what this gem told her; She couldn't feel afraid. She tried to recall what she was expected to do, but She couldn't understand the order. What did She have to do? When? Starting where?

The gruff gem came close to her and narrowed her eyes.

"Pathetic," She whispered to herself, "But we can't have another defect... White asked for this ten cycles ago; I'll get crushed if I don't get her one." The gem looked distressed and was biting her lip, looking to the ground as if asking it for support. Looking to the side, she spoke.

"Pearl B8-29027. Kneel."  
She could obey that order. Whether or not She knew what kneeling was, Her form obeyed and within moments She was bowed on one knee in front of the other gem.

"You'll do. You'll have to." The gem pulled out a strange object, one that had electricity moving through it rapidly and looked quite dangerous. It was pushed towards Her, and within moments there was a painful shock and She was gone.

"My Diamond; You are being summoned."

"Why?" White Diamond's cold voice scared the moonstone, and she flinched involuntarily, but answered all the same.

"Your commissioned Pearl has been completed and is being hand delivered, as you asked, my Diamond."

White Diamond sighed, standing from her post and running a hand through her hair.

"Of course. Lead me to them." The moonstone bowed with the diamond symbol held at her chest before turning and hurrying toward the entryway. There were many things that White Diamond did not like. Jaspers, irregular weather patterns, rebellious lower gems... Being disrupted during work, for whatever reason, was on that list.

The two moved into the main entrance quickly, arriving to see a middle class working gem standing with a chain held in her hand. The Yellow Jade was dressed in a delicately pattered dress, mainly a golden color with a few silver threads weaved in. The midlength sleeves and lifted skirt of the dress, gathered with a black sash, gave this gem a look of status, however White knew this was only so whichever pearl unit she happened to be selling would be more trusted and wanted. A simple sales tactic, to make your saleswoman appealing. Yellow Jade dusted her long golden hair out of her eyes, her black lips forming a sass filled smile.

"My Diamond." She spoke, bowing with her hands forming a perfect diamond shape. "I have come to deliver and instruct the usage of your new household assistant. Pearl B8-29027, come say hello." Yellow Jade gave a tug on the chains, and White noticed for the first time that they were connected to the wrists of a small, frail pearl. It wasn't quite short, but, then again, it wasn't quite tall either. It's short hair was straight and damp, but not quite wet enough to leave water on the pristine floors. White took in its appearance; noticing the plain white dress covering its' body and the lack of shoes on its feet.

"Ah, yes. Programming is not complete until you pick her outfit, my Diamond." The Yellow Jade grinned, a smirk that most gems would find charming. "Would you care for me to assist? Most others of your class and standing tend to dress their pearls similarly to themselves as to compliment the-"

"No, that won't be necessary. I've had a pearl before, young Jade, and I believe you'd think it best to leave my presence quickly and leave me to program my assistant on my own. Unless of course you just _want_ a consequence, which, in that case, I'm very well prepared to just, oh, you know, _crush you."_

Fear took the Jade's face for the first and took away her proud facade. Her widened eyes stared at White as her head bobbed up and down.

"Y-yes, my Diamond." She spoke with a shake, trying not to be afraid of her superior's harsh words and menacing stare. Of course White was bluffing; while she _could_ crush the Yellow Jade, it'd be very thoughtless to destroy a good worker without a good reason. The pearl industry needed that Yellow Jade, and so until she did something drastic that White could not forgive, the Yellow Jade lived.

"That goes for you as well, Moonstone. Unless you believe yourself to be above that Jade, I suggest you leave my presence. _Now."_

"Yes, my Diamond." Moonstone hurried, bowing with the Diamond salute and scampering off, leaving White alone with her newly acquired pearl.

"Now, let's see..." White kneeled about to the pearl's height, still slightly taller than her but near the right elevation, and began looking her over. She was gorgeous, though a little small, and her pale pink hair gave her white body just enough color to make her seem almost like a _real_ gem. Her feet were long and thin, though small, and her pointed nose and cheeks had just the slightest amount of blue blush. Something was... Off, however. White tried to pinpoint what it was, struggling until her pale eyes met the pearl's gem. The normally round gem had taken on more of an oval, its' mass having ripples and waves formed into the should-be smooth surface. Yellow glared, appalled. How could they give her, _White Diamond,_ a defective servant? She looked to the heavens for answers, sighing as she brought a hand to her face.

The ceiling did not provide an explanation, so White slowly brought her eyes back down to the pearl, looking her over once more. She _was_ pretty. It'd be a shame just to crush her...

White made herself a promise. She would try to work with this pearl; maybe the shape of the gem was just an aesthetic problem. However, if the pearl ended up acting differently that it should, it would have to be terminated. White sighed, brushing a strand of hair from the pearl's ice blue eyes. She might as well design this pearl's outfit now. If she was to give it a chance, she would at least have some fun with it.


	2. Pearl

_Pearl_

* * *

She was very confused about how fast She moved from _nothing_ to _everything_. One moment She was lying in a darkened room, the only thing surrounding Her being blackness, and the next, here She was. The world was so bright and colorful; so many sights and sounds, so much _wonder_ and so much _fear._ The loud made Her flinch involuntarily as She was lead under privacy bubble through the city. While She could see out, no one else could see in, but of course She didn't know this. The gem in front of her, later known as a Yellow Jade, also the one who had put up the privacy bubble so that the pearl would not be stolen, pulled on her chains without much anger. She could tell the jade was being forceful, but as she tugged at the chains it did not hurt. She was only moved along, much like when a dog is on a leash or a child is being held by the hand. She was simply being assisted in _moving_. Moving was a strange concept. She had never _moved_ before, and yet motion came so easy to her form. One foot in front of the other, repeat. She followed and mimicked Yellow Jade's movements, and soon She didn't even have to think about it anymore. One foot in front of the other, repeat. Even without having to think about movement, she couldn't help but think about all the new things around Her. The bustle of the crowded city was overwhelming, and soon She found herself trying her hardest to remain placid and calm.

By the time they arrived to Her new home, the pearl had ceased all movement other than the motion of Her legs. Her eyes were blank as well as her mouth, her mind focusing on nothing other than the _everything._ This feeling was much like a feeling of overwhelm and fear, like when you are asked an answer in class but you weren't really paying attention, and you freeze up. The only way Her gem could find to cope with the overwhelm, much like what your brain would do, was to go stationary; to freeze. She didn't know what was happening until an unfamiliar voice spoke directly to her, pulling Her out of the haze.

"Pearl B8-29027. State your allegiance." The voice spoke. Her eyes focused nearly instantly to reveal a very tall, very pale gem. A clear diamond could be found on her forehead, and, for some reason, the pearl felt an overwhelming sense of loyalty to this gem. Without thinking, Her gem projected the information page.

"Good, very good. Hm, I'll need to dress it in something less...scrappy, before it is displayed. Very well. Come with me." The tall gem ( _Madam White Diamond,_ Her mind screamed,) stood to her full height and began walking. Should She walk, too? She did not know, but her mind screamed and insisted she did, to the point of near physical pain, and so She followed.

The two walked for a good long time, coming through many doors and hallways, all with beautifully crafted stain glass window, before they finally landed in a small room. The room was much like a cell; the floors and walls had no decoration and the space was small and cramped with no windows in sight. White took out a small glowing tablet, not so unlike the one used by the gruff gem She had seen when she first experienced _awakeness_ and _nothingness_ and _terror_ and _dread._ White looked through her tablet for a moment, scrolling and tapping and looking up at Her every once and a while, not noticing Her sudden fear. She stopped after what seemed like years, looked Her up and down, and then began to speak.

"Pearl, when regeneration is complete, you will reprogram into the accessory code 8926754, F190, addition 10."

 _Pearl._ The title felt strange and foreign to Her, but if it was what her diamond wanted, she would be _Pearl_. Before Pearl could realize what was happening, White had retrieved a destabilizing unit from her being (Not that Pearl knew what it was) and pressed it into Pearl's forearm. Within seconds, Pearl's world had fallen back into _nothing_.

* * *

Meetings had always bored Rose Quartz. But being Pink Diamond's first hand,- her assistant, her best friend, her strategist-Rose had to be there for every. Single. One. No exceptions.

Though not at Diamond strength, Rose had acquired a very high standing. Directly below the diamonds and having been around them for much more than one thousand years, she had come to be treated as an equal. Almost. Pink Diamond was Rose's friend, of course; she always had been, and there was no doubt in that. Pink was more harsh, more cold than Rose, however, and so in certain situations Pink could be very condescending to her strategist. Rose didn't mind much, however. When alone she and Pink still treated each other the same.

In a war against a nearby planet many centuries ago, Rose, the highest ranking officer and healer to the Milky Quartz, Amethyst, and Smoky Quartz soldiers, had been badly injured in battle. Her form was shaky and was fluctuating in and out of existence, but her gem was not strong enough to regenerate at the moment. And so, she stood and waited. She must have drifted into unconsciousness, for the next time she opened her eyes it was in a med bay. Rose sat up and stretched her back, looking around with groggy eyes. Her pain was gone, she realized. She was confused; what other gems could heal her if not herself? She had not cried, and even if she had she didn't think her tears worked on her own being. She could be wrong, she supposed, but it wasn't likely.

After several minutes, Rose finally noticed just how _tall_ the room she was in was, and just how _empty_ it was as well. She listened to the silence for a long while before her ears locked on to a small, quiet humming. She looked around, trying to find the source.

A very tall gem with clothing dappled in warm pinks and laced with silver was sitting in a far corner, reading some kind of book. Rose's vision took a few moments to adjust, but the moment they did she recognized the form.

"My Diamond!" She gasped, her hands fumbling to make the Diamond Salute over her chest. She attempted to stand and bow, but, what with the excitement and her recent injury, her legs got tangled in the bedsheets and she toppled to the cold, overly-sanitary floor. The tall figure turned her head to Rose and let out a light chuckle.

"No need for that, Ms. Quartz." Rose basked in the Diamond's melodic voice, noting every curve and dip in the musical tone. Her Diamond must be the best Diamond, by far, she thought. Pink began to walk towards Rose as the latter tried to stand, only succeeding in tangling herself more and bringing a bright pink blush to her cheeks. Pink towered far above the Quartz, but when she reached down to take the soldier's hand, it seemed as if she were just as small as Rose.

"I see that you have done quite a good job as both a medic and a soldier. I am very proud of you, Rose. Most Rose Quartz, once their healing powers show themselves, quit being part of the battle and reside to being a medic. You, on the other hand, my dear, have chosen a hard life of both. I respect that." Pink smiled as she helped Rose up, but Rose could only stutter and blush.

"H-how did I- I mean, My Diamond, how is my physical form healed? Am I not the only Rose Quartz stationed here?" Pink's mysterious laugh caused Rose to feel embarrassed, wondering if she had said something wrong. She looked away.

"Yes, dear, you are the only Rose Quartz in this quadrant. However, you are not the only gem with healing tears."

Rose gasped. "You mean, you-"

"When I heard my hardest working Quartz had fallen with a cracked gem and was sure to die, after defeating the enemy and protecting hundreds of other soldiers, I decided I needed to pay her a visit and relieve her from her pain." Pink stood and returned to the sitting area across the room. She patted the seat beside her.

"Let's have a chat, shall we?"

From that day onward, something unheard of began to happen. Of course, Pink had always been known as the most compassionate of the Diamonds, but even she hadn't stooped to befriend a lower gem. In fact, Pink hadn't even meant to do so; she was simply helping one of her soldiers. But after speaking to Rose she began to find common ground, and beyond that she even saw that Rose had potential and ideas that even the Diamonds themselves could not possess.

Within the next four hundred years, Rose had been appointed as Pink's assistant and strategist. And that meant the meetings were always necessary.

This one in particular had stretched on for much longer than the Quartz would have liked, and now she sat beside Pink, slumped in her chair and twirling her long pink locks around her fingers.

"We can't just barge onto a planet inhabited by fierce, patriotic warriors. There is no logical reason to do so until there are no other planets to build on, which there are! Yellow, taking over Luscara is an incredibly dangerous idea, you can't actually want to do this? Think of the lives of our military, we can't just practically sacrifice them when there are other options!" Pink stood slightly and banged her fist on the long table.

"Do you honestly think another planet would _ever_ be as promising as Luscara is? No! It won't! Even if my Cluster was successfully executed, no other planet could harvest such a large amount of power without imploding!" On the opposite side of the table, Yellow was much more agitated than Pink had been. Her teeth were bared as she paced, her arms wildly gesturing as she spoke. Rose sighed and dropped her head to the back of her chair.

"What, do you have a better idea, Miss 'I-once-created-sentient-life-that-tried-to-overthrow-the-government?'" Yellow shouted, glaring at Rose with hate-filled eyes.

"That was one time!" Rose stood now, too, offended. Being so much smaller than the Diamonds, she needed to at least raise to her full height to argue.

 ** _"ENOUGH."_**

All three arguing gems quieted and looked up at the previously quiet White Diamond. White was the head of everything, more powerful than even the other Diamonds. When she put her foot down, it was time to calm down whether you felt like it or not.

"This has been going on for at least ten rotations. I am sick of you three arguing over this. Yellow, while the idea of taking over Luscara would be promising-"

"Thank you," Yellow interrupted.

"...Pink has it in our better interest to take on a smaller, less defensive planet. We need to keep as many gems alive as possible right now, and going to Luscara at this time would have little to no benefit without many, many deaths. And even then, we would still need more gems in order to plant and retrieve the cluster. Without a planet with the strength to sustain a kindergarten, there would be more problems than solutions."

"I do believe White is right, Yellow. We must do what is in society's best interest right now." Blue spoke placidly, this being the first sentence she had spoken throughout the entire meeting. Her deep blue eyes stared at Rose with distaste. Blue had never quite learned to accept that Pink had invited a non-diamond gem into their inner-circle. She would just have to deal with it, Pink had said. Rose was something that this planet needed.

"Let's move to the next topic, shall we?"


	3. Friend

_Friend_

* * *

When Pearl opened her eyes next, she was alone. If she had been human, she had called out for her family at this point, to let them know she was awake and well, much like how a human child cries for attention after a nap. But, as we've covered, she had no family. She tried to sit up, but her form pulled against a harsh restraint. She was stuck. Her throat emitted some sort of strangled squeaking sound as she struggled, and within moments a short, thin gem had appeared at the entrance of the room.

"Hello, Pearl B8-29027. I am Moonstone, your master's assistant." The gem spoke in a soft, clear voice as she looked Pearl in the eyes. Pearl quickly averted her own eyes, the stare causing her to feel violated and uncomfortable. Moonstone followed her gaze wherever it went, making Pearl extremely aggravated. She wanted to speak up; to tell Moonstone to quit, but, while she could comprehend words, she couldn't make her mouth form around any syllable or sound. No one had taken the time to teach her; most pearls are created with the ability formed into their gem. Because of the defect, Pearl's creator had decided that Pearl must not be able to even retain any speech patterns. And so, she did not try to teach her.

"White Diamond would like me to show you around the palace and to show you your daily tasks. She states that if she should not instruct you to do a different task, you should preform these tasks on a daily basis." Moonstone was dressed in an extremely simple dress, the white bodice being open and not form fitting while the iridescent skirt was so tight it was practically part of her hips and legs. Upon examining Moonstone, Pearl began to wonder what _she_ looked like. Was she small and frail like Moonstone, or was she tall and muscular like Madam White Diamond? Was she dressed as extravagantly as Yellow Jade, or some of the more wealthy gems she had seen on the streets, or was she as simple as the gem in front of her?

"Pearl B8-29027. Will you please speak to me?" The Moonstone inquired, tilting her head to once again meet Pearl's gaze. Pearl huffed loudly, a cross expression coming across her eyes as she looked away for what felt like the eightieth time (But, of course, Pearl had no real understanding of numbers yet.) "Pearl B8-0927, you are showing emotion." Moonstone gasped slightly, taking a step back. She clutched the white tablet held in her arms closer.

Pearl looked away, a blue blush rising to her cheeks.

"Can you not speak, B8-29027? Why is your being expressing emotion? I will have to address this defect with White Diamond." Pearl looked up at this, unsure of what that meant or if Moonstone was even being serious.

Pearl tried to speak once more, to tell Moonstone that, no, she was not defective, not anymore than Moonstone herself was, but she could not get her mouth to form around words. She made instead a low humming sound, sounding much like an angered bee. Moonstone tilted her head and began to step towards Pearl cautiously. She carefully walked around her, eyeing her every particle until her eyes landed on her pearl.

"Is your gem defective, B8-29027?" Pearl's blue blush returned. Was she defective? What did 'defective' even mean? Moonstone gasped. "You are! Your gem is malformed. Is White Diamond aware of this?"

Pearl shrugged, feeling rather hot and embarrassed for not knowing.

"Even so," Moonstone said, trying to brush off the previous events, "I have been ordered to show you around. Come with me, Defective B8-29027." The small gem closed her eyes briefly, her gem glowing with the effort. Within seconds Pearl's restraints had burst into large puffs of light and were now gone completely. Moonstone held out her hand.

"Please take my hand, I must show you around." Moonstone tried, her face showing not annoyance, but curiosity and friendship. Pearl reached out and placed her hand in Moonstone's, the gesture feeling foreign and new. The other gem pulled her up and steadied her on her feet when Pearl began to sway.

"Yes, I do remember, taking the first steps after your first regeneration is rather difficult. I will help, if you would like." Pearl bit her lip, then nodded. If they were going to walk the whole 'palace' or whatever it was titled, she agreed that she _would_ need assistance. And so she allowed Moonstone to continue to support her and hold her hand.

Everything was so new, so foreign. She had only begun living a few rotations ago; thus the world was incredibly hard to navigate and, quite frankly, very overwhelming. How did gems live in this every day?

Pearl was broken out of her thoughts as Moonstone began moving, with Pearl's hand in one of her's and the tablet in the other.

Pearl was shown all kinds of rooms. She was shown the master bath, a large spring residing in the depths of the palace for White Diamond's relaxation, a large, technology-filled office, even an open ballroom with pristine crystal windows and chandeliers hanging from every rise in the ceiling. Any room one could think of was accounted for in this palace, and Pearl was sure by the looks of them that White Diamond used them all.

"White Diamond likes to have the Bath spotless whenever she returns from meetings and has asked me to leave you there to clean. She likes to relax in the springs due to the stressful manner of her meetings." Moonstone said professionally, looking down at the tablet with her hand still in Pearl's. The latter looked around apprehensively as they re-entered the room. Staying alone in this large room rather frightened her, and what if she cleaned it wrong? She had never cleaned before; she was only two rotations old, after all.

"I'll leave you to it, then. I have my own tasks this morning. I enjoyed walking with you, even if you could not speak back to me. I will check on you later, yes?"

Pearl nodded at this, feeling suddenly very nervous about doing her job right. With a small wave, Moonstone left her and exited the room.

* * *

Today's meeting had gone on for much longer than White had anticipated. With so much chaos and yelling, the powerful Diamond now wanted nothing more than to go home and relax. She had gone through the pleasantries with Blue as she had left, and had debated once more in a more calm manner with Yellow. But now, after a long day, she wasn't going to wait for Pink and her... _Assistant_ any longer. She was beginning to leave, her long pale cloak draped around her broad shoulders to brace her against the large crowds and cold of the night-shroud city.

"White Diamond." Rose's voice was calm and strong, and that made White nearly sick.

"What is it, Ms. Quartz?" She said, turning to the smaller gem and trying to remain pleasant.

"I really do think that trying to find another planet is a better idea, but I have to ask. Why would we even consider hurting other living beings for our own benefit when we can just use another planet that would work just as well? I wasn't just worried about Luscara's warriors fighting back. Do you know how many of them would be killed? They reproduce, White. There would be young ones that would never know why their parental figures never came home." Rose looked away, her hands twisted in the top layer of her skirt. "As long as I'm associated with the Diamond Court, I can't let that happen..."

White looked down at the Quartz. Honestly, she did not care anything about the lives of those Luscarians, but she couldn't let the facade down yet. She had to remain diplomatic, for the gems' sake.

"Explain your argument to me once more, I will try to understand."

* * *

To say the least, Pearl was struggling. She had no idea how to clean this giant room; especially with the water in the spring always being scalding hot and the walls already looking pristine. She couldn't even locate the cleaning supplies she had brought into the room with her now that she had walked around the spring to see what all needed cleaning. She started walking around the circular spring for the second time, trying to find the cleaner and rags again.

She only noticed she had found them when her face hit the floor and she heard laughter.

"Oh, Pearl B8-29027, what was that?" Moonstone giggled, covering her mouth.

She emitted a small sound of distaste and sat up a little, rubbing her gem tenderly. Soon, Moonstone had offered her hand to Pearl once more and had assisted her in standing.

"I have come to check on you; my duties for today have been completed. But it looks like you're having some trouble.." Moonstone laughed again, very quietly as if she were trying to hide it. Pearl blushed and began to dust herself off, not meeting Moonstone's gaze.

"It is alright, B8-29027. I will help you until White Diamond gets home. She should not see me helping you, but before she arrives it should not be a problem." Moonstone smiled at Pearl and kneeled down to pick up the fallen cleaning supplies. "Shall we get started?"

Pearl followed suit, the blush on her frail cheeks not leaving.

The two worked for what felt like hours, scrubbing walls and floors, Moonstone chatting away on the other side of the room from Pearl with the latter listening quietly, never making a peep. The large room was covered in marble tiles, and, with the hot water in the huge spring, was also covered in steam. Giant mirrors resided on the back walls, under which lay racks of lush towels and cloths, along with beautifully scented perfumes to give the room the clean, pleasant smell of lavender and chamomile. Unlit candles sat around the room at different heights, giving the clouded room a look of serenity and beauty.

Frankly, Pearl loved this room. The smell was incredibly calming, and the appearance was breath taking. She was working extra hard to make the floor sparkle so that maybe she would be allowed to clean this room again, just so she could stare at it on another occasion.

"B8-29027, I do believe this room is spotless. The walls sparkle and the floors are-" Moonstone slipped on the still-wet surface, the canister of soap she was carrying spilling onto the wet floor and into the bath water. The highly reactive mixture, created just for extra pizzazz, bubbled up immediately, leaving that side of the room and pool covered in overzealous bubbles. This foam covered Moonstone completely, and she didn't resurface for so long that Pearl wondered if she was even under the bubbles anymore. She poked her head into a position she could see Moonstone's previous location, and leaned in worriedly to see if she could spot any sign of the gem's existence. Still nothing. She bit her lip; these bubbles were an extremely new experience for Pearl. She didn't know whether she should be amused or afraid - was this substance dangerous? She couldn't lose the only gem she knew to whatever these... _Things_ were. She had begun to worry, not knowing what to do, when suddenly Moonstone's head popped out from the foam. She was laughing.

"I'm a mess!" She giggled, a grin spreading across her mouth, but that grin left quickly when she noticed Pearl's wide-eyed expression. "B8-29027, you look afraid. What is wrong? Are you hurt?"

Pearl looked at her, the frightened expression never leaving her features. She opened and closed her mouth once, gesturing to the large mass of bubbles.

"Are you... Are you _frightened_ of these, B8-29027?" Moonstone laughed, a surprised expression on her face. Pearl began to wonder what she had done wrong, and her face flushed a pale blue. She looked anywhere but at Moonstone and tried to make an argument to justify her actions, but no sound came out. Of course.

"No, no! These are called _bubbles_ , Pearl! There is no need to be worried; see?" Moonstone pushed a large amount of bubble at the pearl, who scurried out of the way quickly, her chest heaving. She still didn't trust these... _Bubbles_. Moonstone only laughed harder.

"Come on, Pearl, throw some back to me! White Diamond does not return for a very long time; after her meetings one of the other Diamonds usually throws a party so they can get their minds off of things. We have plenty of time, and you need to relax. Come along, join me!"

Pearl looked apprehensively at the bubbles, then up at Moonstone. The gem's face was beaming, a grin stretched on her face that reached her eyes perfectly. She hadn't had actual _fun_ in a very long time. And so, Pearl bent down, lifted a small amount of bubbles (wincing as she did so, just in case they actually _were_ dangerous), and tossed them lightly at Moonstone.

"That is the spirit!"

The two began having a war in the bubbles, slipping into the pool on occasion and continuing the fight in the now-soapy water. As they did so, only one word came to Pearl's mind.

 _Friend._


	4. Dread

_Trigger warning: slight physical and emotional abuse; non-graphic rape/sexual abuse_

* * *

 _Dread_

* * *

It had been a long day, and all White wanted was to go home, take a dip in the spring, and r _elax_. Maybe use her pearl for some much-needed pleasure, she thought. But when she entered the spring room, she was not expecting what she saw.

"What are you doing?" She shouted upon seeing the mountains of bubbles with her pearl and her assistant buried inside. They had been laughing, but as soon as she entered that stopped and both sets of eyes became wide.

"My Diamond!" Moonstone said, flustered as she scurried out from the bubbles. Pearl only sat there, her unneeded yet comforting breath quickening as she watched the events around her take place. "Madam, should y-you not still be at your meeting?"

White glared.

"My meeting was this morning, Moonstone. What do you think you two are doing? Do you know that I can have gems _crushed_ for things like this? I'm the _highest ranking Diamond here._ They don't even need a _reason_ to crush gems for me. Do you understand what I'm saying?" White was furious. Her own pearl and her much-trusted assistant were... _Playing?_

She supposed the pearl _was_ young after all; mistakes were to be expected at this age. But still, Moonstone should have directed the pearl in the right way and the two certainly should _not_ be playing around, messing up her spring room and using up her effervescence-inducing soaps. She was very, very angry and would not stand for this.

"Moonstone! Clean this mess up! I expect it to be sparkling by the time I return, am I clear? Do _not_ pull a stunt like this again. Clean, and I will get to your punishment later. As for _you_ ," She pulled Pearl up from her bubble fortress by the collar. "You're coming with me." She stood the pearl up and fiercely grabbed her hand, pulling her through the doors of the spring room and marching her towards White Diamond's private quarters. Though Pearl had not yet learned the name for that _dread,_ the emotion had returned now, and she was beginning to realize that it was not a good thing.

They briskly entered the large double doors to the room, a large relaxation unit in the middle of the room and mirrors lining one wall. The ceiling was painted in shades of many colors and crystal, resembling a stain glass mirror but not quite exactly so. As soon as they entered, Pearl was taken back upon seeing something in the mirror.

 _Me._

She had pale pink hair; a pastel shade that looked similar to what we today would refer to as sweet cotton candy. Delicately placed in her hair was a sort of crown, looping around her head and pulling back her long bangs in the front. Small, clear crystals practically dripped from the silver outline, sparkling in her pale hair. Her body was dressed in a gorgeous gown, mostly being white with small shades of pink, blue, and yellow. It resembled that of a renaissance gown, with large, tool sleeves that hung down much below Pearl's hips and a transparent, glittering skirt beginning under a white bodice and hem and falling past her feet. Her feet were held in small, delicate flats, laced with tiny crystal shards so they glittered in the light. She was stunning, she thought. And suddenly, she began to feel for the second time the feeling of _happiness_. Why would someone put so much detail in dressing her if they weren't going to be proud of her or befriend her? Maybe White Diamond wasn't so bad; maybe she-

The doors slammed. Pearl's head whipped up to see White standing there, a sickeningly sweet smile on her face.

"Oh, dear Pearl." She said softly, that grin not leaving. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

The smile was unnerving, but the words sounded genuine enough. Pearl kept her chin high, hoping for the best from her Master.

Slowly, White Diamond kneeled to Pearl's height, and placed a cold hand on Pearl's cheek. She caressed it lightly, and Pearl felt that this touch meant it was okay; that she had not made a mistake and was not going to be punished. She was right. White was not as bad as she seemed.

White's face twisted from love to something horrible, and the hand that had been petting Pearl's face turned back and _slapped her._

"What were you thinking?" White said forcefully. She slapped Pearl again. Pearl's face was now a horrible mix of emotions, with _horror_ and _disbelief_ and _fear_ and _pain_ all etched into her features like carvings on wood. Tears prickled into her eyes from the pain and her breathing became quick and rapid. White slapped Pearl once more, harder and with more passion than before. And then she sighed and stood quickly, turning quickly and walking to the other side of the room. She pulled the curtains open and looked out to the bustling city below, filled with colorful, happy gems. Pearl pulled a small hand to her face, feeling heat radiating from the bruising skin, and heard White sigh deeply again. She turned back and came to the pearl and kneeled beside her.

"I'm sorry," She smiled softly, putting her hand lightly to Pearl's face again. Pearl flinched, "Don't be afraid now. I just had to teach you a lesson, dear. You agree that you won't pull a stunt like that again, right?" Pearl nodded and tried to look away, but White's grip was strong and she pulled Pearl's face back to look at her. "Look at me. Now, see, don't you agree that you needed that?" Pearl guessed she had. If she knew she wasn't going to misbehave like that, she did guess she had needed it. Such was the way of the world, she supposed. She finally nodded.

"See now, that's good. Why don't you come join me in the spring? I'm sure Moonstone has cleaned your mess. Would you like to come relax with me?"

Without realizing what she was doing, Pearl nodded weakly.

White held Pearl's hand as they walked back to the spring room. They walked quietly and softly, as if not to disrupt anything. Pearl wanted to ask why; was there a reason they were being so hidden and quiet?

The outside was dark now, galaxies and stars twinkling up in the sky like tiny pin pricks in a black blanket. It was soothing, Pearl thought, to see the sky above from the glass roof of the main hallway. Everything up there, in the sky, was so gorgeous. But, as she thought, she began to think that maybe, just maybe, the things down here were beautiful, too.

The door to the spring room opened softly, with White rapping quietly on the side of the door before grasping the knob lightly. They entered the room to see it sparkling; the soap had cleaned the floors greatly, and had even touched up the walls. Moonstone, drenched from head to toe, was now moving around the room lighting each of the now-dry candles. The room was beautiful, Pearl thought, with little lights dotting the darkness and causing the room to be lit with a warm glow. The water glistened against it, warm and only steaming slightly at this hour. It must've been late, but there was no way of knowing just how late it was.

Moonstone looked up suddenly, a tiny gasp escaping her lips.

"Madam," She bowed, her hands perfectly in the diamond shape. "I have finished cleaning the area and am now lighting the candles for you; is this temperature correct for the room and the water?" White let go of Pearl's hand for a moment, leaving her in the doorway as she moved to the water. Moonstone watched her intently, and after White dipped her fingers into the water she nodded.

"Wonderful, Moonstone. Please finish lighting the candles and then leave Pearl and I here to relax, alright?"

Moonstone paled, only just noticing Pearl's shy presence in the door. Another small gasp came from her mouth, and she swallowed hard.

"Y-yes, ma'am. I will be out of your way momentarily, ma'am."

Pearl didn't know why her friend's - _her friend -_ eyes had gone so wide, or why that made her herself feel such intense fear, or why it made the _dread_ return. Within moments, Moonstone had shakily finished the lighting and was walking to the door, nervousness etched in her form.

"I'm so sorry," She mumbled as she passed Pearl, a whisper so low that Pearl and only Pearl could hear it. This left the gem with more confusion, even after the doors behind her were softly shut. She looked to her Diamond to see her slowly emerging herself in the deep water.

"Come along now," She said, a sickeningly sweet smile on her face. Pearl's form shook, though she didn't quite understand why, but she knew she couldn't disobey an order. She cautiously dipped herself into the water before White pulled her in up to her nose. She sputtered a little, and White tutted at her.

"Can you not swim, dear? Oh, what a shame. I guess we will just have to do something else while in here..." She grinned, and Pearl did not know what was happening, and did not know to resist when White pulled Pearl's tiny form towards her. She didn't know to resist when White slid her hand down Pearl's leg, or when she blatantly pulled their lips together and began moving her tongue across Pearl's.

White had done this before; of course she had. This is one of the main reasons Pearl's existed, correct? Though gems didn't reproduce sexually, their forms still had the basic functions and yearnings for pleasure. Not all gems, of course, but many got lonely just as White Diamond had. And who better to relieve all that pent up stress than a servant who could only mimic emotions? A servant who couldn't feel or think? White smiled and pulled the tiny pearl closer to her, ignoring the shaking of the other's hands and the look of real, genuine emotion on her face.

 _She's only a pearl, there are no emotions or feelings to worry about. Do as you please; Pearl's can not harvest resentment._

 _She's only a pearl._

* * *

The walk from the meeting had been quiet so far. Pink and Rose had barely spoken a word to each other after the long day, and the silence of the city around them was not encouraging conversation. Rose, however felt she needed to speak up, no matter how out of place it seemed.

"Pink?" She said softly, looking up at the taller form. Pink looked down at her after a moment, her warm eyes weary and tired.

"Yes, Rose?"

Rose hesitated then, seeing the wear on Pink's face. But she had to continue.

"Why was Yellow so adamant on hurting the lives of the Luscarians? It's not like they've ever attacked _us_ , and their planet isn't as promising as she claims. We'd be destroying precious life; we couldn't do that. They're living just like us. Why does she want to kill them?"

Pink pulled a hand to her face and ran it through her long bangs.

"Oh, Rose. There's a lot you haven't learned."


	5. Love

_Love_

* * *

Rose hadn't actually learned an extensive amount about each of the other Diamonds. She knew a small bit about them, but you could hardly say it was much. She had only spoken to them at meetings; she had never seen them outside of one, or had spoken to them about anything other than politics. Except for Pink Diamond, Rose barely knew the Diamonds at all. She had never even been to one of their parties, though now that she had asked Pink for information, she was being forced to go to one.

"If you want to learn about them, you have to meet them yourself, Rose. It's a lot to explain." Pink had said that day on the way home.

And so, this is how Rose found herself being dressed up and dragged down the streets of the city to White's palace.

She did not, under any circumstances, _want_ to go to this party. In fact, it was the least important thing on her mind. But if Pink wanted her to, Rose would go. Rose would do anything for Pink, as long as it didn't harm herself or others.

The walk to the higher gem's palace was long, and the streets were crowded due to the lazy nature of the day and the fun of wandering the city. There were so many shops and stands, who wouldn't like to wander them?

Pink and Rose arrived at White's fashionably late. It wasn't incredibly late, not at all, and maybe it wouldn't even be considered tardy. The only sign to show them that they weren't right on time was all the bodies gathered in the main room, talking and laughing and drinking. Rose immediately felt uncomfortable. Sure, she was a very social gem, but these gems didn't seem to be the most friendly. All around her she heard bickering, and bragging, and saw offended glares and boastful grins. They looked ready to kill each other, not like they were diplomats seeing each other at a nice party. She twisted her fingers in front of her as she glanced around, and quickly decided that, no, she did not want to be here. Not really. She looked up to Pink to ask to leave, but was disappointed to find that her friend was no longer beside her. Looking around, she didn't find Pink anywhere even near her. How had she disappeared so fast?

Begrudgingly, Rose decided she would wander. Either she would find Pink or she would make a friend. Either way was better than simply standing there looking dejected, right? She moved ever so slightly to the left, trying to gracefully make her way around all the warm bodies surrounding her. It was every so crowded, and Rose was afraid that their weight may cause the elevated floor they were on to fall through. Well, not really. That was simply impossible, but it was fun to think about. Rose hid a tiny smile as she just imagined all of the gems before her, just _fwoop,_ falling through. A few higher up gems shot disgusted looks her way as they caught site of her grin, but she ignored them. Maybe she didn't want to get to know the Diamonds anyways.

She wandered somewhat aimlessly through the large palace, her eyes landing on each and every piece of fancy decor in the area. The area she was in now was somewhat secluded, save for the few gems that had sneaked back to argue.

"Pink?" She called softly, thinking that maybe her friend had come back her to get away from the noise. The lack of response confirmed Rose's inner thoughts that her wishful thinking was impossible; Pink was too sociable for that. She tried again, however, hoping that just maybe...

"Pink, are you here?"

Within moments, a small squeak came from her right and Rose turned to see a door slowly opening.

* * *

Pearl was not okay. Everything about her was sore; the evening before had been terribly distressing. Not only did the young gem not understand what was happening, she also was not physically able to withstand the beatings and forceful behavior. And so, when her unconscious form was greeted with bright lights landing upon her face, she immediately felt confused. She had been left in White's leisure room, lying completely undressed under her pristine white blanket. She could see her now-dry dress and delicate slippers hung carefully by the door, and as she sat up she found a small note propped at her bedside.

 _I have gone,_ it read, _but I am extremely pleased with your performance. Please, dearest, do behave yourself so next time I won't be forced to teach you a lesson beforehand. Get to your cleaning as soon as you arise, and please do avoid Moonstone. She has some learning to get done herself._

And that was it. No explanation of what had gone on, no nothing. She was left without guidance again, and so, she did as any Pearl would. She began to tend to her daily tasks.

Scrub the walls in the meeting room; check.

Mop the floors in the ballroom; check.

Organize the holopads in the office, check.

Pearl was dusting when she heard soft footsteps approach her. Stifly she continued her task, knowing good and well that if she turned she would see Moonstone behind her.

"Pearl, why have you avoided me?" The clear voice spoke. No doubt she had acted as a translator for White Diamond in the past or currently. The taller gem shrugged clumsily, avoiding eye contact with her friend and focusing on her dusting.

"She told you to avoid me, did she not?" Moonstone said, showing the first sign of anger Pearl had ever heard in the small gem. She was somewhat surprised, and so she turned to her.

Her mouth emitted a tiny squeak as she attempted to speak, and then she satisfied her need for speech by allowing a low rumble to settle from her vocal cords. Her hands gestured softly at Moonstone, and within seconds, the latter caught on.

"Oh, you would like to know why she did?" Pearl nodded, thankful that she could get through to her without the usage of words.

"She does not like her workers to participate in non-work related activities, dear Pearl. Unless she herself initiates them, White does not like any enjoyment." Moonstone stuck her tongue out and rolled her eyes, earning a small giggle from the younger gem. She, too, smiled.

"You do know, Pearl, that I did not mean for any harm to come to you, and that I do not wish to put you in harms way again?" Pearl nodded, her nervousness of disobeying her master slowly melting away.

"Would you like to join me in filing White's papers? She has a party tonight, I am sure she would like the work to be finished by then."

Pearl nodded happily, and allowed Moonstone to take her hand and lead her away.

Filing papers had taken much longer than expected, even with two of them, and within a few hours they could hear the palace begin to fill with the sounds and motion of a party.

"Pearl, we should remain in this room until the party is finished." Moonstone said, her eyes looking to the door when she heard the commotion. "If we exit this room, White will force you to work with the guests. If you remain in here, we can say you were finishing your last assignments and she will not be angered that you did not work." The short gem looked hopefully to where Pearl was seated cross-legged on the ground from where she was at the desk, and the younger gem looked uneasy. She did not know if she should listen; she did not want to be in trouble again, or be expected to participate in 'relaxing' as she was the night before. Maybe she should go to work with the guests...

"Pearl, are you considering going out to White?"

Pearl nodded sheepishly, knowing that her friend was not happy with her.

"If you would like, you may go out to her, but I would much prefer for you to keep me company."

Pearl decided she didn't like being programmed to please others. She wanted to stay with Moonstone, of course. She enjoyed her friend's company, and she wanted to stay with her as long as possible. But, as well as that, she truly did not want to get in trouble with White again. She didn't know what to decide, and so the gem simply remained seated on the floor with her papers. Moonstone seemed to be pleased with this idea, and smiled softly as she looked back to her own papers.

An hour past, then two, and the next time Pearl looked through the crystalline window, it was much past night. Stars were present in the sky, and the two moons were moving slowly across the sky. Her eyes moved to the desk where, she was interested to find Moonstone's head down on the table. Obviously she was resting; gems did tend to do that, Pearl knew from her limited knowledge of the world. Now that Moonstone was unaware, maybe she would not notice if Pearl slipped out. She really should be helping at the party, after all. She couldn't mind, could she? If Pearl went to find White, received an assignment for the party, then moved back to the office, she could tell Moonstone that they had been found and that she was put to work when the other gem awoke. It was decided that that was a good idea, and Pearl soon found herself moving quietly to the door.

"Pink, are you here?" The small gem heard. She tensed immediately, but soon relaxed as she realized she did not recognize that voice. A guest certainly couldn't know that she was supposed to be elsewhere, could they? She opened the door as quietly as she could and shut it softly behind her, smiling to herself as she stood against it.

"Oh, hello, little one."

She startled, her eyes wide as they looked up to see who had noticed her. A tall gem stood beside her, her bright pink hair billowing gracefully down her shoulders and her chocolate brown eyes warm and inviting. The gems skirt reached just above her feet, which were bare and soft, and her gemstone was a deep, sparkling pink. Instantly, Pearl understood the feeling of love.


End file.
